I’m a young gal. Yet I’m getting old enough to feel shaken by the tides of time. I just thought about this yesterday, when I was reminiscing my non-existent memories of Whitney Houston in the late 80s.

I can’t go on. Please… Just take a moment to take in this voice. Let her into your SOUL.

This performance… The Bodyguard soundtrack (#Track9)… Honestly? She was child of God. Sort of literally because she was a Leo.
I’d like to make a bit of an analysis of her talent. I’m no professional so bear with me.

First and foremost her voice was a gift. Yes there’s skill, plenty of it, but she was born into a family of singers. A learned trait from her mother was soul in her singing style. By soul, I mean… It’s sort of like inspiration. If you’re spiritual maybe that’ll make more sense to you. Anyway, the soul pushes her voice outwards. A lot of singers don’t give up their voice in full throttle. ‘Cause that’s pretty risky business; there’s a lot of room for error! And there’s a lot to lose (although recovery is possible)! But when you can let go of inhibitions AND stay focused vocally AND be motivated to create the intrinsic beauty of the song- then you’ve got damn good soul.

Soul, soul… I wanna elaborate on this… It doesn’t have to be singing per se, either… Soul can be released through acting too. A soulful performance is one that emulates the text but translates it to something very real and understandable. So perhaps the best soul we can find is in theatre, because that provides the performer with the most context. One might argue something personal would have more potential, but the way I see it, if the context is really near and dear to the performer’s heart, they’ll hold back on their true feelings in fear during the live performance. Genuine emotions are very messy, you know.

Yes, she’s got that. And I wanna write this down before I forget it: she’s got INCREDIBLE transitioning skills. From one note to the next, she was able to stitch together the sounds without it sounding harsh or interrupted. This, and the control she had over her voice, were products of practice and maintenance, I’m sure. One thing that I would guess is pure luck, though, is the… the fullness. This one’s tough to describe! Most notable in her belting, there’s something so complete and sophisticated with the way it sounds… A little abstract, but in my head, I picture her voice as an expanding hollow cylinder. There’s no other singer that consistently can have me in awe over the beauty and perfection of the human voice. Whitney Houston was exceptional. AND GORGEOUS! Just stunning!

Ok… Woo! Girl, I had a moment… It’s weird, once Leo season started I had to revisit Ms. Houston’s discography. A spiritual awakening. And I was just shaken by the reemergence of her death. She died in Aquarius season. That shit’s spooky. Within the sister sign; what’re the odds? And she passed so horrifically. Alone and vulnerable. At only 48, how premature! What bullshit. I don’t believe she was ready to die. But the wrong cocktail left her face-down in the bathtub. Legit, you have to take care of yourself on drugs. Preferably don’t do them, period, but, well, you know how it is: stay away from machinery, the elements, hazards. I’ve been intoxicated enough, had I been in water, to drown. God must’ve been fed up with Whitney that day to take her like that. It was her time. But it wasn’t, at the same time. Life is perplexing like that. Time is insane like that.

I see time as a treadmill. A lot of the time I like to stop running and sit down on it like a fat ass, but that doesn’t mean the gig’s broke. It just means I’m not keeping up. Like, shit isn’t gonna stop for me. I can pretend it is, but the truth will peer into my life sooner or later. I gotta motivate myself to keep running so I can get stronger.

So, what else has been going on in my world… Well, related to the above, I’ve been thinking about how I never can keep up with the times. With the American aesthetic of *NEW* things and the *ECONOMY*. Meaning, when anything gets released, I’m never the first one to hop on board. Unless we’re talking Animal Crossing. But anyway, I wanna make new friends. New nerdy, gamer friends, maybe anime friends as well. There’s a few hiccups in my field.
1. I haven’t bought a game on launch in years.
2. I don’t know how to play all these neat, trendy card games.
3. I haven’t watched anime in God knows how long.
4. I haven’t watched an anime being released live in years. Like, I think I’ve only done that once, with that swimming anime Free!
5. I don’t like multiplayer games because I’m anxious. I feel like this could only work if I had a supportive group of friends who could make up for my shittiness. But it seems like some gamers take their hobby too seriously to give a damn about other people joining and having fun too, which makes me feel left out.

What I’m saying is, basically, to fit in with all these dweebs, you have to keep up with the times. And I don’t know the first thing. I know a lot of things. But nothing current, I’ll figure those out later. And I don’t wanna try and jump into these groups without knowing nothingI feel a little stuck but I know either I’ve gotta start learning or quit the theatrics and get a job. It’s rough out here, sis. Here in Trump’s America. There’s so much to do, and not enough time for me to prepare for things…

My pens are drying up. That is all.