The meet the queens is UP on LogoTV’s website RIGHT NOW for season 9 of RuPaul’s Drag Race and I am psyched over it. Just gonna give a brief overview of the queens.
Clock this alphabetical order.
Aja – This queen is 22 years old (she had to think about that) and is from Brooklyn, New York. Judy Jetson hooker. When she was asked about season 9 she answered “I don’t even know”, so she’s the first queen to go home.
Alexis Michelle – She’s 33 years old from New York City. This video makes her a little bit forgettable but I can tell she’s a blessed-worthy homo. Beat mug and good shine. Giving me tooth fairy realness from Rise of the Guardians.
Charlie Hides – Yaaaas work mama. This queen is 52 years old from Boston and London. I have been watching her YouTube videos for a few years and I’m GAGGED she auditioned for RuPaul’s Drag Race. Her Lana Del Rey impersonation is to die for.
Eureka O’Hara – 25 years old from Johnson City, Tennessee, and she is big, ready to jig, and ready to win this gig. She claims her style is the Kool-Aid man meets Eureka’s Castle meets Hobby Lobby meets the grand duchess meets Mary, Queen of Scots meets fabulousness. Work
Farrah Moan – This queen is 23 years old and from Texas. Comin’ for Courtney Act with this gig guuurrrl! Kind of looks like Michelle Pfeiffer?
Jaymes Mansfield – What the fuck? She’s 26 years old from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The Trisha Paytas Cinderella gig threw me, all T all shade. Her Vivacious read made me laugh though.
Kimora Blac – This queen is 28 from Las Vegas. I live for Kimora Lee Simons so there is already a partial approval on my part. But I have a feeling they’re both remaining irrelevant.
Nina Bo’nina Brown – She is from South Carolina and is 34. Out of all the outfits and stylings Nina’s was my favorite. I love video games too so I could see what she was drawing from.
Peppermint – She is 37 years old from New York City. Octavia St. Laurent? She’s cute but I’m bored.
Sasha Velour – She is 29 years old and in Brooklyn, New York. Who names their male child Sasha? Her eyebrows were a spectacle I must admit.
Shea Couleé – This queen is 27 years old and from Chicago. These colors have me DEEP into the gig.
Trinity Taylor – She is 31 years old and from Birmingham, Alabama. I couldn’t tell you much else.
Valentina – This queen is in Los Angeles, California and is 25. Only one Latina queen this time around? What’s the T RuPaul? She says that season 9 is going to be drama.
UPDATE: How come I never publish these things when I’m done? There has been three episodes total thus far, and the fourth is on this way! Tune in to VH1 Friday at 8pm.
Let’s discuss these queens.
Episode 1: Oh My Gaga!
Wow. Ru knew this season was so terrible that the only way to make something of it was to FINALLY get Lady Gaga to show up as a guest judge. And that she did. Literally Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta. This is not the way to rile up queen’s emotions before they begin to compete. Eureka almost died.
Beginner Werk Room Outfits:
Peppermint: Blue kimono w/ dreds. Ok, work.
Valentina: Red Spanish gig. Slay, tbh, I loved the jewels.
Eureka: Light blue cherry berry top & candy pink dress. It’s cute.
Charlie Hides: That, like, big cardboard face with glasses. It’s a look…
Farrah Moan: Silver see-through dress & big hair. Idk why anyone thinks she’s bodyodyody. That’s a man, Maury. The face is fish tho!
Sasha Velour: It’s like… well, it’s black… And there’s a crown too… Ozzy glasses. It’s ok.
Alexis Michelle: Oooh she got contacts in! Her transformation is most interesting to me because out of drag she is trade. Like, easily passable as a straight man.
Shea Couleé: That dress… Pearl Liaison? Pearl Lesion? I mean, it’s certainly not a bad look… Work.
Trinity Taylor: Good God! Transvestite realness. In my humble opinion she’s got the best body, but we all know why that is. I liked her outfit.
Kimora Blac: She looks…good.
Jaymes Mansfield: …
Nina Bo’nina Brown: I think it was the combination of big hips and a cinched waist that made this illusion work. There was something kind of amazing about it.
Aja: This dress looks like something that sticks to your skin
So one of the outfit challenges was to wear a garment representing your hometown or culture.
Aja & Peppermint: Seriously, you guys? They both dressed up as Lady Liberty. Lazy Liberty.
Charlie Hides: Boston realness. Ok, but that tear-away was just awful. According to her she never practiced the ruveal.
Valentina: Really good material she’s bringing. Red, gold, and black reflect well against her skin.
Eureka: Frightful representation of Tennessee. Usually I love camp, but Eureka wanted to emphasize on the distaste of her hometown, and that makes me uncomfortable. This could be a good thing?
Farrah Moan: Is that… Vegas? That dress… She didn’t look bad, but was it accurate?
Sasha Velour: Ok… With that crown again… And, like- Wait, what? Is that her face? I don’t know how I feel about this look y’all!
Shea Couleé: LMAO. Touché. Hot dogs in Chicago.
Alexis Michelle: That dress: no. That pop-up: yes.
Kimora Blac: I mean, it’s more Vegas than Farrah Moan’s… It’s too bad neither one of them took a campy approach to this challenge. Imagine a sexy slot machine look. That coulda’ been fierce!
Trinity Taylor: Florida, huh… It’s a look!
Nina Bo’nina Brown: Sweet and sorrowful lord… THAT was a choice. It certainly worked, though! A refreshing peach. Up close I feel fear.
Jaymes Mansfield: 😦 I don’t wanna be mean, y’all. Skip.
The other outfit challenge was to imitate a Lady Gaga look. These outfits were more engaging, I think.
Peppermint: 2016 Grammy Awards. Supposed to be an homage to David Bowie, and the makeup isn’t really doing it for me. The coat-dress is lovely, however.
Valentina: Oop. The spell has been broken. I was not feeling this look, maybe it was the glasses, or the dark lace (the lighting?)… Oh, and that wig doesn’t work… This was a reference to the 2011 CFDA Awards.
Eureka: Jail dress from the telephone video. A little bland… Could have used an appropriate accessory.
Charlie Hides: Hahaha 2010 Brit Awards. Get it? ‘Cause she’s a Brit? Think she did a fine job.
Farrah Moan: Alejandro Catholic realness. I liked this look from the music video so I was happy to see it brought to the main stage. There was a tear-away underneath, though!!! Dammit, Farrah! She saw Charlie fuck up and choked.
Sasha Velour: Maybe this is a lazy look, but it’s one of my faves. This is the classic Artpop/Applause makeup, but Sasha didn’t shape her face to look like Gaga’s. I think the purpose of Artpop was to encourage others to let their freak flag fly and Sasha emulated that train of thought perfectly by showing herself as she was. I mean, she’s got a nice face to begin with, so…
Alexis Michelle: Wooooork mama. The 2012 Golden Globes. Very clever of Alexis to choose a recent look of Gaga’s, that must have been very exciting for her to see replicated. This is easily one of the best looks of the night as well.
Shea Couleé: I-oh dear. This is a Monster Ball Tour look. I don’t like what’s happening with the fabric. Just…no thanks.
Trinity Taylor: Awwlright, Hotel… Another somewhat recent look. She did well with this; very horror-esque (glamorous horror).
Kimora Blac: Uninspired, leather-cunt Gaga. The lack of creativity in her choice was a bad call. Her look got swamped in the plethora of iconic looks and fashions.
Jaymes Mansfield: Clocked by this l00k. She’s, like, kind of a hot mess but so was that Vogue cover? Not the worst concept tonight…
Nina No’Nina Brown: Way to hide that mug. No but really, this was another good look. This was inspired by the 2009 VMAs, and that shit was legendary.
Aja: Oook wooork! A Comme Des Garcons dress. This has some depth to it, maybe some personal. It’s fierce.
It was… a decent opening. OMG and Cynthia Lee Fontaine is back mis amores!!!!! Some people were disappointed but not me. I love the cucu.
I’m hoping that next episode will be good, because episode 3 “Draggily Ever After” was the worst RuPaul’s Drag Race episode to be aired to date. I could make a post on that but frankly I don’t wanna re-watch that trash.